Brown spots on legs

Do you have ugly brown spots on your legs?  I have them and for the last year they have been showing up with a vengance.  I used to love my legs now I just hide them behind pants.  I wish I could wear dresses and shorts again with confidence.

I guess it all started when I began to tan in the worse way. Tanning beds!  I have to admit I laid in tanning beds four to five times a week.  At the time, I looked great.  I thought I was also doing something healthy for my skin too.  Okay in the back of my mine I tried to justify it..

Boy was I wrong.  As we all know today, tanning is bad! Very bad!! If you want spots, wrinkles and sagging, then tan!  No antiaginh cream will rid the damage that will be done.

For me at 46, I am showing deep winkles on my wrists and some on my chest.  I never tanned my face (thank God), so I don’t have any lines on my face or spots.  But, my legs are just awful.  I have tried vitamin C, Retin A, bleach and IPL treatments and nothing has worked.  Recenly, I have been applying TCA 20% acid to each spot for a spot peel but even this has proven not to work.

I have finally resorted to making an appointment with a Cosmetic Dermatologis to find out if these stupid brown spots can be laser off once and for all.  The problem I have been told is the skin on the body (other than the face) is thicker and stubborn.  Either the laser is too strong for the legs therefore, it may leave scars or it simply isn’t an option for these stubborn spots so, I am be stuck with them forever.

I won’t give up and when I find a way to rid these suckers for good, I will let you know.  I do know we must keep sunscreen on them so they don’t get darker and so we don’t create more.  The unfortunate thing is, there are probably more lurking from past sun abuse!!

Do you have hands that are aging you?

If you are like me, I HATE MY HANDS!  They show how much I have been in the sun and thus, how old I really am.  Even worse, my hands make me look older than I am.  All those times I baked in the sun when the elders told me NOT TO!  Why didn’t I listen?

Turns out, that I may have hope yet.  Although I may not have the money, I have the potential to turn back the hands of time a bit.

Do you have hands that are aging you?  These days, one could get fat from their backside and have it injected into their hands.  It takes about 10 minutes and the results are immediate!  For me, it’s not so much I need fat (although you can see my veins through my thin skin), its the wrists that are showing lines that look like  strings on a guitar and even more sad, they are beginning to deepen to the point, they can’t be remedied if I don’t do something now!

The current term for hand work is “The Hand Lift.”   Face it, we want our hands to match our bodies right? Second to our face, everyone sees our hands and its not very practical to wear gloves to hide them in the summer is it?

As we age, our hands age due to a thinning dermis.  Collagen decreases and the hands wrinkle up.  We get age spots (me) and our hands look terrible.

One could get lasers to remove spots and eliminate crepey skin.  We can get injectables toreduce the bony appearance.  If you have the money, you can take 10 or more years off your hands.  Fat injections can be permanent but can cost between $3,000 and $8000.  Not small change for most of us.

If you are on a budget such as myself, you may want to get fillers like Radiesse or Restylane once or twice a year.  This can cost $700. to $1000. each injection.

Of course injections will plump aging hands but it won’t erase the signs of aging hands, like age spots, etc.  You can apply Retin-A a lot but also get Fraxel Dual and Active FX laser to penetrate the top layer.  This will remove the brown spots and stimulate your own collagen.  You may need two or three treatments at $750. to $2000. per session.

It end whaterver you do, WEAR SUNSCREEN!!  Heres to one more thing we have to try and fix :)

The Basics of Skin Care

The Basics of Skin Care

                       

General Overview

    Let’s face it when it comes to skin care, some of us either understand it or we don’t.  Even worse, we are not real clear on what products reduce winkles and benefit aging skin.   We get caught up in the hype and the clever marketing which causes us to spend lots of money.  Through trial and error, we sometimes get lucky and find a product that works only later, it stops working and then we begin the cycle again.

      Because of this, we spend way too much time and money trying to figure out what we should use on our skin.   It’s difficult not to become overwhelmed by commercials, infomercials, online marketing, etc.

     We have all been seduced by celebrities selling a skin care product on television that states our skin will be beautiful just like theirs and for all those years we damaged it, it can be completely erased..  Well, if you were like me and bought into those empty promises then you too probably have a drawer full of products you need to throw away!  Believe me; it can be very simple and basic once you know how products really work.

     The great news is that we don’t have to be overwhelmed with skin care and better yet, we don’t have to spend a lot of money on BASIC SKIN CARE. If you have a drawer or medicine cabinet full of products that cost a lot of money or, you have been over promised and under delivered by those expensive skin care brands, then I am going to show you how to throw away these products and never have to stress or pay more money than is necessary for great skin!

     Truth be told, there are just four steps to basic skin care.  When I say basic, I mean the cleansing of the skin.  Anti-aging is last.

These are: Cleansing – Getting rid of grime and chemicals while limiting the stress. 

  1. 1.      Daily cleansing 2.  Hydrating and replenishing the skin 3.  Using Sunscreen – Protecting the skin from harmful UV rays 4. Exfoliation.

Step One

Cleansing

     The purpose of cleansing is to remove and loosen debris, germs, oils and products from the skin and to remove “free radicals.”

     It is important not to over cleanse the skin as it will make it dry.  Many think their skin is not clean unless it is dry and tight.  This is not true.  It is important to know your skin type and use products that are formulated for your skin.  It is also important to use them according to the directions.

     You have to be careful of the type of cleanser you use because, although they are best for removing dirt and grime, they can also leave your skin dried out and out of balance causing your skin to need more moisture. 

     Bottom line is you can go to your local drug store and get a mild cleanser for very little cost and they are just as good as the high dollar brands like Obaji, Estee Lauder, etc.  With technology today, most products do the job just fine.  Just remember if you have oily skin you may want to use a bar soap or liquid cleanser and if you have normal to dry, try a gentle bar soap as well.  If you have oily skin, definitely use a toner to remove the last of that last bit of oil.

Step Two

Moisturizing

Moisturizing is an essential step in good skin care. A good moisturizer can stop dry skin from turning into cracked, flaky skin.  A good moisturizer can reduce the damage from free-radicals.  In one of the next chapters, we will talk about free radicals and how they damage our skin.

Moisturizer Ingredients:

“Moisturizers used to be water and wax that worked by trying to hold water in the skin. The only difference between these moisturizers was how they felt. Today, there is actual science behind the new state-of-the-art moisturizers that are available”.   Ingredients that you’ll find in a good moisturizer are:

•Glycerol – This helps water and other moisturizer ingredients penetrate the skin.

•Ceramides – Help replenish the skin’s natural oils.

•Hydroxy Acids – Help with exfoliation of dead skin cells

•Niacinamide – Helps the skin produce more natural oils, and may also help reverse the signs of sun-damaged skin, like brown spots” (about.com/dermatology)

    

    You should choose a moisturizer just like your cleanser, one that is formulated for your skin type.  By now, we all know whether our skin feels and looks oily, feels and look dry or, feels and looks normal, meaning neither oily nor dry with no issues.  Just make sure you pick a moisturizer with good ingredients.  Even those (such as me) with oily skin need a light oil free moisturizer. (about.com)

Step 3 – Sunscreen

     “Step three in a good skin care program is using sunscreen, but it’s the most forgotten. It’s easy to tell if your skin is dirty or dry, requiring a good washing or some added moisture. We can see or feel that our skin needs some extra care. Unfortunately, most of the damage to the skin from UV radiation is beneath the surface and happens so slowly that we don’t realize how much damage is being done.”

“Most people know that exposure to UV radiation can cause sun damage to the skin, including sunburn, photo aging, and increased risk of skin cancer. But did you know this damage also occurs when you walk from your house to your car or sit next to a window during the day? Even those little bits of exposure add up over the years and can cause wrinkles, dark spots and skin cancer.” (Source: about.com)

     You will want to buy a broad-spectrum sunscreen that is at least 30 SPF.  Many doctors recommend higher, this is up to you.  I know for me, when I put my foundation over sunscreen 50, it doesn’t look right to me.  That’s just me.  You have to experiment.  There are many foundations out there that have sunscreen in them too.  I happen to like both my moisturizer and sunscreen combined into one step before my foundation. 

     Unfortunately, new information is coming out stating that even a layer of sunscreen doesn’t really protect us like we once believed.  The FDA will be releasing more information on better ways to use sunscreen so we can better protect our skin.  Until then, use sunscreen no matter what.

Step 4

     It is very important to exfoliate your skin meaning, getting all that dead skin off!  You can use a retinoid for this or you can use a simple wash cloth to exfoliate with a little cleanser.  We want to remove that glue on the skin that’s holding the dead skin.  I use Retin-A and a facial brush.

     You can also get microdermabrasion once in a while to get a deep exfoliation as well but that’s up to you.  The important thing is you get all that dead skin off so new skin can shine through.  We will be talking more about retinoids in an upcoming chapter.

          In summary, you need to cleanse, exfoliate, moisturize, and use sunscreen as your basic skin care routine and do this twice a day with regard to omitting the sunscreen at night.

Basic, Affordable and the next step if you want Cosmetic Procedures

      Because of my experience and because I don’t want you to think that only products are what change your skin, I want to let you know about the basic cosmetic procedures that are the least expensive and would be a natural progression after skin care, etc.

     Compared to products, cosmetic procedures are not a commodity so finding bargain cosmetic procedures may not be a good thing.  We are talking about wounding the skin and this doesn’t necessarily correlate with cheaper however, there is no reason you can’t call around to your local Dermatologist or Plastic Surgeons and find out what the following items cost.  Then you can compare for yourself. 

     I have found that I pick three or four good doctors in my area and check their prices then, I get on their email list and wouldn’t you know.  I get all kinds of discounted offers.  If I would simply go into their office via an appointment, I would pay top dollar.  When I get on their list, I get up to 30% off of procedures.  It’s worth it to compare. 

     Okay here‘s the list:

1.      Botox.  You really should do Botox as prevention.  You may only need 10 units or so just to prevent that frown line or line that may be forming between your nose and eyes.  You can also get Botox on your crow’s feet (the lines around your eyes) this helps tremendously.  If you need 30, 40 units and you can’t afford it all at once, and then get 10 units every few weeks until you get all areas covered.  The cost varies but I have paid $11.00 a unit and then got on lists and now I pay about $9.50 @ 30 units is a savings of $45.00!  May not be a lot to some however to me, I can use that towards my products!!  Some doctors now promote, buy two get one

 

free…Also know there are other competing products to Botox like Dysport and may be less money.

 

  1. 2.     Chemical Peels.  Chemical peels are great as they remove the surface layer of the skin.  They wound the skin so that it can heal itself by creating new collagen and that is a wonderful thing.  Chemical peels are done in different strengths so the cost will vary.  In most states you can get a chemical peel for about $110.00.  You want to continue these as this will help create beautiful skin and less texture and also, help rid your skin of fine lines, etc.  You can do them yourself but I don’t recommend it.  In my learning process, I bought a 30% TCA peel on line (I should have never been able to without a license, I think) and I did some serious damage to my skin.  Damage so bad I have to hide the scars every day of my life.  For the cost of $110 or so, it’s not worth it to risk it.  If you do, buy the lowest strength and build from there.

 

3.     This is not a procedure but you do need a prescription. Retin-A is fantastic!! “Retin-A (tretinoin) is a topical preparation of Vitamin A, and therefore has antioxidant properties, just like the vitamin by itself. It is an acid derivative of retinol (Vitamin A) The important aspect is really the effectiveness of what Retin-A does. Studies have shown that Retin-A can help reduce wrinkles, reduce acne, exfoliate dead skin cells and redistribute melanin. Melanin redistribution results in lighter, more even skin color. Thus Retin-A is often used to treat skin discolorations caused by excessive sun exposure.”  If you have sensitive skin it may not work for you… It may be too harsh.  I would still try and mix a little every other night in my favorite cream.  Just don’t give up.  This stuff is amazing!

 

 4.     Get your teeth whitened!  This makes a huge difference.  You could have perfect skin; straight teeth and then your teeth are stained and dull.  If you have bright white teeth you look better, feel better and you look much healthier too.  The cost in my state is about $100.00!  That’s pretty good as it used to be $500.00 when I first had it done.

 

  1. 5.     IPL (intense pulse light therapy)” Intense pulsed light (IPL) or flash lamp therapy is a non-invasive and non-ablative treatment that uses high intensity pulses of visible light to improve the appearance of the following skin problems: Vascular lesions including spider angiomas, port wine

 

stains, broken facial veins, rosy cheeks, rosacea and red thread veins of the legs Freckles and age marks Facial lines and wrinkles Removal of unwanted dark hair The procedure of rejuvenating aged skin is referred to as photo rejuvenation and requires a series of IPL treatments.”  The cost nationally runs about $300 to $400.00.  You will only need a series of a few treatments.  I have seen it as low as $150 per treatment if you agree to three or more.

6.     Juvederm- “JUVÉDERM® is the only HA filler FDA approved* to last up to one year Ask your physician how you can get long-lasting results with JUVÉDERM®. JUVÉDERM® XC injectable gel is a smooth consistency gel dermal filler that helps to instantly restore your skin’s volume and smooth away facial wrinkles and folds like your “smile lines” or “parentheses” (nasolabial folds) —the creases that run from the bottom of your nose to the corners of your mouth). JUVÉDERM® XC comes in two formulations—JUVÉDERM® Ultra XC and JUVÉDERM® Ultra Plus XC.” You will pay anywhere from $400 a syringe to $800.00.  I pay only about $400 – $450 depending on the specials the doctors have.  As I write this my doctor is giving one when you buy one and will even save the second for later.­­

7.     Sculptra –  “Aesthetic works within the deep dermis within the deep dermis, your skin’s structure is reinforced as Sculptra Aesthetic helps to replace lost collagen. This reinforced collagen structure provides a foundation that gradually restores the look of fullness of your shallow to deep facial wrinkles and folds that has been depleted over time. The result? Sculptra Aesthetic is different because it gradually and subtly corrects these facial wrinkles. This can provide a refined, more youthful looking appearance that can last up to two years.”  I had it done around my jaw line and it worked pretty well however, I should have went back for a third treatment to see the full results.  For this one, I will have to wait for the prices to come down and try it again. I paid $350 a syringe far less than most are charging but still, at three it was a little too expensive.

     I really believe that one day this will be affordable for all of us because again, with technology, the need for doctors to perform invasive procedures will diminish so they will be more eager to lower procedure costs to attract more patients.

8.      Fraxel –“The Fraxel family of products has three laser treatments, all delivering remarkable results with fast recovery. The range of Fraxel treatments vary in aggressiveness, downtime, and number of procedures needed and results. The most aggressive treatment, Fraxel re:pair, can produce dramatic improvement for severely damaged skin. This is a single

treatment procedure, but will require more downtime and after treatment wound care. Less aggressive treatments, like Fraxel re:store or Fraxel re:fine, can produce significant results for mild to moderately damaged skin over the course of 3 to 6 treatments. Typically, there is no after treatment wound care with these treatments and downtime is minimal.”   

I have gotten estimates from doctors from $750 per treatment to $2000.00 per treatment.  I got the $2,000 price from an oral surgeon and the $750.00 from a very good dermatologist in my area.  So I guess you can figure out who I went with?

Also, I wanted to let you know that with regards to the injectables, many of the manufactures are offering rebates so if you sign up at their websites or ask your doctor, you can get some serious cash back, up to 30 to 40 percent!

These are certainly not all but these tend to be the least expensive and the least invasive and the procedures that do the most good.

     Whether you chose to create your own products or you chose to purchase ACTIVES already mixed at wholesale prices, my hope is that you get the best skin possible.  I also hope you save a lot of money in the process..

Up and coming ingredients and how technology is changing why we don’t need plastic surgery anymore

     I have learned throughout the years that many times the reason our products don’t do what they claim to be because they merely sit on top of the skin and never penetrate to make a difference.  So what we pay for and what we get are just creams and serums that moisturize but don’t really change the skin.

     There are exceptions, prescriptions like Retin-A work well but they are just that, prescriptions and not something we can just buy over the counter.  I personally love vitamin C and can’t say enough about how well it works for me as it really does penetrate the skin. 

     With today’s technology, a lot is changing as peptides and antioxidants have always been at the top of the skin care list, now with actives like apple stem cells, natural marine ingredients, growth factors and a whole lot more being discovered, we are on the verge of a real skin changing shift and thankfully, you and I are going to see it and benefit from it. 

    It is my wish not to have a face lift.  I will never say never but why have one when you don’t have to.  There are many risks and what if it doesn’t turn out. I guess I am afraid to cut into my face.  I still hold out the hope that products and minimal procedures will definitely keep me looking my best. 

 

Plastic Surgery Depression

So you finally did it.  You have been thinking for a long time to get plastic surgery.  You got it and got through recovery, surgery went well and now a couple of days later, you are hold up in the house to recover.  Are you feeling depressed?

It’s not uncommon to feel “plastic surgery depression.” There may be many reasons that you feel depressed.  For me, I got my nose done and my eyes done and it was against my spouses wishes so I was pretty much alienated for a few days.  He didn’t speak one word to me while I was recuperating.  He didn’t look at me or ask if I needed anything.  I pretty much felt like a ghost in my own home.

I started doubting whether I should have done it?  I sat alone in the house for three days and being an out going person, it wasn’t good.  I had a splint on my nose, 44 stitches in my face and black eyes.  I started to feel depressed.  I wondered if others felt the same way when they got plastic surgery.

If you get plastic surgery to make yourself feel better about an issue that has bothered you, be proud of yourself that you put yourself first and you had the courage to do something for yourself.  Most of the time we do so much for others we put ourselves last.  I think the guilt is what set in and made me feel depressed.

If you get depressed, talk yourself out of it.  Replace negative thoughts with positive.  Perhaps the spouse thing is just a crack in the marriage and it would have manifested itself anyways.

Plastic surgery depression will pass.  For me, it has been a learning experience that has opened my eyes and made me more aware of my own personal needs.  Just so you know, it won’t last.  Once the bruises heal the skies will open again and everything will be okay.  In the meantime just be good to yourself :)

Cheers!

I have heard that those who get face-lift have “plastic surgery depression.” I guess for those who have face-lifts the recovery time is more intense and a face lift is a more emotional surgery.

 

Get a facelift or get Injectables?

If you are like me, you are starting to see some sagging and hollowing in your face.  I don’t want to get a face-lift at this point and I have gotten some injectables in the past however,  it seems the older I am getting, the faster I am aging.

I don’t know about you but I always thought that gravity was the reason we needed a face-lift.  Turns out that bone mass changes in the shape of our face is the actual reason we may need a face-lift.  Our skull shrinks and changes over time creating a bony structure, thus, our face appears to slide down on us.  I am sure gravity has its own agenda but, basically its our bone structure and loss of volume that changes.  With that our skin thins out causing it to sag.

Contrary to ads you may have seen, its not as easy as applying some cream or simply injecting a product into your face to plump it up and add volume.

In order to get back to looking even close to how you used to, it requires the right product and the right technique.  As of today’s date, there is not one injectable to use under the eye area that is FDA approved.  Your doctor needs to have a good understanding of the facial anatomy to give you great results, which brings us to the liquid face-lift.

With more filler options available today then ever before, we can have a beautiful sculpting effect.  A skilled injector can create a refreshed look with little down time.

You would be a good candidate for a liquid face-lift if you already have a good amount of natural volume or no significant laxity.  They say it lasts for up to six months to 18 months.  For me, maybe six months at best.  I do notice however, for each time I get injected, it seems to last a few weeks longer.

Guava the new super fruit

Remember when we were told that the Pomegranate was the new super fruit?  It was the latest and greatest but the Acai berry was the new next super  fruit.  Now, the new super fruit is the Guava.  It is said to be five times as potent as Pomegranates. Guava is known for being great tasting and very good to make smoothies and drinks with.

So how does Guava compare to other super fruits?  The journal of Food Research in 2010 states that after comparing 13 other super fruits to Guava in terms of their antioxidant properties, they found that Guava had the most potency.  They are not saying that the other super fruits are still not significant, but what they are saying is how potent Guava really is.

Weight wise, you would have to eat seven times the oranges to equal  the same level of antioxidant power of Guava.  Antioxidants from Guava fruit have a much higher ratio than most other super fruits.

What are antioxidants? They are substances that get oxidized by free radicals.  Even though they may be essential to our life, they can create caos if left unchecked or un-neutralized.  If we don’t neutralize the free radicals in our bodies by consuming antioxidants, we leave oxidative stress and this can contribute to chronic degenerative disease including:

Heart disease, Cancer, Diabetes, Alzheimer’s disease, Parkinsons’s disease, Arthritis and Aging.

When we ingest rich antioxidants like fruits and vegetables we can counter the effects of oxidative stress.  Should you go out and consume tons of supplements to counter this such as Vitamin E, A, C, etc?  Your best best is to eat high amounts of fruits and veggies.

The reason Guava is so good for you is because of its high level of phytonutrient content.  Research is discovering that phytonutrients inhibit the expression of certain genes that have implications to a persons life.

We as humans have our own internal way of creating antioxidants so at the very lease, phytonutrients help our own bodies improve upon this process.

How you can get Guava. You could take Guava supplements.  Look for a minimum of 250 mg of potent extract.  Avoid the juice as it can have too much sugar.  Eat the fruit, just watch the calorie intake as well.

 

This might make you mad? You decide if its true?

While out to dinner last night, I noticed something.  First let me say that I like to watch people.  I should have gone into social work because I like to watch people, patterns and behavior.

With that being said, I noticed the younger women, the older men, the younger men and the middle age women.  The young women walk into the restaurant, looking fit and dressed sexy and get on the waiting list while both the young and older men look them over.  Then, the middle aged women come in get on the waiting list and no one looks at them.  Humm?

Now I am a middle aged woman (46) and I may only notice this because this is most likely my world (although I won’t dare admit it).  What I am saying is this:

No wonder we women are insecure when we get older.  We eat whatever we want, we don’t exercise, and wear clothes that do not flatter us.  What is it with the overly clothed women.  It’s like we are trying to hide our fat by wearing crappy clothes that cover us from head to toe and worse, we wear all kinds of unflattering patterns.

Really! Why are we at middle age wearing huge flowers, stripes and bright ass colors.  Ladies these don’t make us look better they make us look our age and worse, they make us look older.  Have we stopped trying to be the best we can be.  I am not advocating wearing skimpy clothes by no means but we have to try to look attractive, don’t we?

Do you have the attitude that “who cares” your happy?  Are we happy ladies?  Do you feel insecure when you go out about how you are aging, etc? Nothing wrong with aging because we are all going to, thats a fact.  We have come so far and it is very wonderful to feel good in your own skin.  That the goal!

Here’s where you may get mad at me and disagree?  I don’t think our men want to leave us for younger women.  I think they leave because we give up and become too comfortable.  We use carbs to make us feel happy and pack on the pounds.  We then try and cover up the pounds by wearing too much clothing and patterns that make us look worse.  Thus, we feel bad and tell ourselves that we will lose the weight and exercise but we don’t.  Perhaps we start becoming bitter towards younger, pretty women.

We become unhappy because middle age sets in a now we cant lose the weight so we use food to make us happy thus, perpetuating the cycle.  Our men see and feel our unhappiness and they don’t like it.  In walks a happy person and they leave us for her.

The point here is to try and look your best, uncover that awesome tight body you have under all those patterns and colors.  Exercise, put effort into watching what you eat and if you over eat, find out why?  Do you eat because you are bored?  I know I eat because I am bored and its a bad habit I need to break.

Just because we are in our 40′s, 50′s, 60′s and beyond, we can have good bodies. Get a little help to keep your face looking young.  We don’t need surgery.  There are procedures and products that will really change the way you look.  Wear clothes that accentuate your good parts and hide the not so good ones.  Most of all, be happy and make it be known that you are.  Confidence is the a beauty secret that is most over looked.

Have you given up? Or, is this day going to be different than before?  No matter who you are, you can look just as sexy as anyone else, and you know what? Your man want’s you to be your best because he knows that’s the woman you are.

 

HOW AND WHERE CAN I FIND A MAN

Many women who are tired of being single ask themselves “how and where can I find a man.”  It may seem easy for those who are already in a committed relationship to think they know where to find a good man but, being single and finding the right man is not so easy.

Even with all the online dating sites and matchmaking services out there,  its not so easy in fact, it is more complicated because even though it appears we have more choices for “how and where I can find a man,” some of us don’t know where to start or worse, don’t want to try these services for fear of trust.  Who knows who you will really meet using an online dating service.  We have all heard of some good stories of those who got matched up online, got married and lived happily ever after.  We see these commercials every day and wonder if we have a chance.  We have also heard the horror stories of those who meet up with someone who has absolutely no resemblance of the photo they posted online too.  Sometimes these services become too much of a hassle after countless dates that go no where.

How and where can I find a man then?  Many times the right man is right under your nose.  Some believe its about timing or luck.  That you have to be in the same place at the same time.  Really?  I don’t believe its about neither one of these.  The lottery is about luck not meeting a mate.  You have to know what kind of man you want and don’t want.  You have to keep yourself open to many types of men.  Believe me, there are a lot more out there than you think.  Stop thinking there aren’t any good men out there.  There are.  Maybe you have standards that are way too high.

Just so you know, its not your fault you haven’t found the right man.  Most times, its not you, you just haven’t met your match.  You can’t be right for everyman and visa verse.  Especially as we get older, sorry to say, we are not going to attract the men like we used to.  It’s just a fact of life.  I will tell you that those you didn’t look twice at, you will notice later in life.  It’s not settling its about being human and wanting love.  You don’t want to be alone forever.  You are strong and that’s a fact however, it sure is nice to have a companion to go to dinner with, a vacation with or just have a someone make you feel special.

How and where can I find a man?  Look around and give those you wouldn’t have given a chance before, a second look.  Simple men and divorced men are a really good catch too…

I want a Man!

So you want a man!! Maybe you have a good job and financial independence. You have great friends and a supporting family but the one thing missing is, I want a man! You want to be able to share your life with someone. This is normal. You don’t need a man but you want one. Join the club. There is certainly nothing wrong with being single. Even those who are in relationships long for time alone.

So why don’t you have a man right now? I am sure you wonder that yourself. Have you ever had a serious relationship and if you did, what went wrong. Are you dating at all? If you are dating then why don’t your dates turn into relationships? You are probably saying to yourself, “if I knew I that, I wouldn’t be reading this!!”

Let’s get a little deeper now. If you have had relationships in the past and they ended why not look back and decided whether they ended because of specific reasons like, you grew up and he didn’t, he or you cheated, you or he had baggage, one of you couldn’t commit or, whatever the reason was, you can take this information and begin to decided what type of man you want. When you say “I want a man” what does that really mean to you? Do you know what type of man you want? Many times we are too passive. We wait for someone to come along that we are attracted to, he persues us and gets us. Done! As time goes by we may realize we are not compatible we don’t feel the passion for this person and we become unhappy. So we perpetuate the cycle once again and wonder why we are unhappy.

“I want a man” (finding a real man advice) means that you don’t know what type of man you want. I want a man without knowing what type of man you want will only get you any man. Let’s face it, we have all had just any man and can have any man now. That’s not what we want. We want a real man. A man that we can be passionately and hopelessly in love with. We want to feel loved, appreciate and respected. A that can’t be felt by just anyone. If you are lucky, you will find your soul mate and believe me, there is more than just one out there.

Don’t give up on your desire to find a man. Don’t settle for just any man. Settle for what your heart desires. If you find a good man, you can help and teach him to be your soul mate too.

Good luck:)

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